how to respond to silent treatment
Sadly, the silent treatment often works as intended because it’s so unbearable, and people will do anything to make it stop. All you need is the right approach and mindset. What To Say To Someone Who Has Betrayed You? Don’t plead with your partner. Check out our ideas below for how to respond to the silent treatment in your life. It is tempting to respond to silent treatment with the silent treatment of your own. They could keep apologising and asking what’s wrong, but the partner would stay mumb and not reply. That being said, silent treatment should not be confused or interchanged with any attempts made by an individual who is taking some time to cool off after an argument/fight.”. Except in the case of silent treatment manipulation. Even though the perpetrator of silent treatment will make you believe so, you’re not to blame for their behaviour. To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Home Best Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment Best Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment by Mahaba Yote 0-April 04, 2020. Then, apologise for them. Related Reading: Love Me Best! How do you respond to the silent treatment. Couple relationships…the pains and pleasures, the anxieties and comforts, the craziness and calm. Instead of focusing on how you’ve been wronged, look inwards and explore your shortcomings and faults. If the silent treatment is taken too far, it’s becomes emotional abuse. Let’s understand what silent treatment manipulation means, how to spot it in a relationship, and ultimately, how to handle the silent treatment with dignity. From experience, I know how challenging it is to deal with narcissists and their manipulative behaviour. How to Respond If the Silent Treatment Is Used to Punish or Control. That’s to say it may profoundly harm the individual on the receiving end. Take care of yourself. Before you do anything, you should give the angry party some space and time alone so that they can be with their feelings. It has a positive side and a negative one. But the silent treatment isn’t fair, and it’s harmful to both parties. Having to endure the silent treatment isn’t fun for anyone. How To Respond When The Narcissist Gives You The Silent Treatment It took me several years before I learned the true nature of the “silent treatment” and what it’s meant to do to you. So, the answer to how to win the silent treatment may well lie in letting go off your grudges. How to respond to the silent treatment in a strong and healthy way. The line that divides healthy distance from arguments and silent treatment manipulation of the other person is often very thin. Knowing how to respond to silent treatment becomes imperative not just for the survival of the relationship where this form of stonewalling is repeatedly used as a disarming tool but also for the mental health and well-being of the person at receiving end. But if giving the silent treatment has become a habit for your partner, then you should refuse to become the victim. Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse whereby an individual deliberately ignores the other with the intention of making him/her feel bad or as a … Realize the chronic use of the silent treatment is Emotional Abuse. “Thus, silent treatment manipulation is a marker of an unhealthy relationship. For the one giving the silent treatment, it’s like drinking rat poison and expecting the other person to die. It is tempting to respond to silent treatment with the silent treatment of your own. But a long bout of the silent treatment can hurt a marriage and causes loneliness. Do you want to stay in such an unhealthy relationship? If you are currently seeking answers on how to respond to the silent treatment, then you already know how hurtful and annoying it can be. How To Disarm Silent Treatment in Love. The Silent Treatment. These tips may improve your life and all of your relationships. While many people purposely go silent after – or even during – an argument, they may do so in order to prevent saying something which they will regret. In this video, I go into why narcissists use the silent treatment and how to respond to it. Why is the silent treatment an abusive control tactic? Want to know how to respond to the silent treatment? Attention seekers may give silent treatment but some use it as a manipulative tool for mental abuse. Dear Joseph, A couple of months ago, my father stopped answering phone calls and texts from my siblings and me. When your significant other refuses to speak to you or even acknowledge you, it’s not only infuriating but might also affect your bond. Why do I have to use my words when people should just know when they’ve done something to hurt me? This kind of silent treatment is not aimed at mending or improving the relationship. How To Respond To Narcissistic Silent Treatment. It is often enough said that effective communication forms the basis of any good relationship. If you’ve exhausted all your options and made earnest efforts but the question of how to win the silent treatment still stands, it may be time to seek outside intervention. Do not blame yourself for their actions, they alone are responsible for their behavior. Despite its damaging effect, silent treatment manipulation is rampant in relationships. It can be used both as a positive and a negative strategy. But try you must. In its milder form, silent treatment could be a simple act of sulking and harmless seeking of attention. We can all agree that there are things that should never be said in anger but silent treatment is not acceptable either. Here are a few tips on how to deal with it. When you withdraw communication with this intent, you’re using silent treatment as a tool to induce a positive behaviour change. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. At precisely the same time, it is related not just to a manifestation of passive violence but in addition to a hidden strategy of emotional abuse. How does a narcissist expect you to react? Best ways to respond to silent treatment is an eye catchy post which gives a detailed solution on ways to handle being at the receiving end. And in that situation, there are certain things you can do to respond to the silent treatment your partner is giving you. Do not beg for their attention. 1. Except in the case of silent treatment manipulation. The crux of this approach is to use positive reinforcement through ‘I’ statements instead of blame-shifting through ‘You’ remarks. This works as a strategy and a positive one at that. How to respond to the silent treatment in a strong and healthy way. It communicates a ton without saying a word, conveying things like anger, frustration, bitterness, manipulation, resignation, disappointment, and sorrow. If you are currently faced with someone who is showing you the silent treatment, you must be feeling quite agitated, angry, and alone. It’s indirect, passive, and extremely emotionally hurtful. But if giving the silent treatment has become a habit for your partner, then you should refuse to become the victim. This often occurs after an intense fight or argument between the couple. If yes, ask yourself is any depth of love worth such toxicity? Developed and Maintained by Creative Brains. “Ignore the silence,” Go about your day, … The silent treatment is one of the most common warning signs of relationship problems because it’s so easy for couples to fall into the habit of doing. Required fields are marked *. And in that situation, there are certain things you can do to respond to the silent treatment your partner is giving you. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse. Related Reading: 12 Ways to Fix A Toxic Relationship. Want to know how to handle the silent treatment with dignity? Knowing what you’re dealing with is an important step in being able to handle the situation better. Not talking to you or addressing the issues are their way of keeping you at tenterhooks. Psychologist Mallika Pathak agrees. Les Carter, Ph.D. We all need time and space, some of us need more time to cool off after an argument, but that does not entitle them to give the other person silent treatment. “They are choosing not to be open and communicate their feelings or their grievances with the individual. To one partner, the silent treatment is their way of dealing with an argument, but to the other, it’s a sign of shutting down. But it will only set a toxic a ‘who blinks first’ game in motion. Nothing but negative feelings arise from using the silent treatment. And if the narcissist cannot respond with common sense, keep moving. It is important to break this communication pattern, and there are constructive ways to respond and, hopefully, find a way to move forward that both of you can agree on. Have an honest conversation with yourself and try to understand which underlying issues are triggering this repetitive silent treatment. Do It With Finesse…, When And How To Talk About Marriage With Your Significant Other, 12 Completely Valid Reasons To End A Relationship – No Matter What the World Says, 30 ½ Facts About Love That You Can Never Ever Ignore. But a long bout of the silent treatment can hurt a marriage and causes loneliness. In all honesty, you would probably rather be yelling at each other for hours instead of being left alone without a single response to all of your efforts. Understand What the Silent Treatment IsTo one partner, the silent treatment is their way of dealing with an argument, but to the other, it’s a sign of shutting down. Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting And 5 Ways To Deal With It. This helps no one. It is important to break this communication pattern, and there are constructive ways to respond and, hopefully, find a way to move forward that both of you can agree on. All this will lead to is widening of the distance between you two, and prove detrimental to the relationship as well as your psyche. In the absence of proper communication, our relationships will turn cold.However, at times, to avoid conflict, many couples resort to the silent treatment. Professional help in the form of couple therapy – or even individual counselling – can be extremely beneficial in recognising and sorting out some fundamental issues in the relationship. Dig deep into the reasons for the silent treatment. The first thing that needs to be considered is the nature of the silent treatment. When that time comes, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and ask your partner to talk in a private, comfortable place. Before diving into ways to respond to the silent treatment, it’s important to know how to recognize when it becomes abusive. You may love your partner deeply but you will not find your happiness or peace of mind with them. Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly. The problems often run deeper than what we see on the surface.”, Related Reading: 10 Signs You Married The Wrong Person. How To Disarm Silent Treatment in Love. Not only should you give this person the silent treatment in real life, but ignore any texts, phone calls, or messages over social media as well. Silent Treatment = Self-Protection. If you’re taking the above-mentioned approach, make sure you give space and time to the other person until they’re ready to make the first move. Managing it then becomes easy. Do not respond to silent treatment with silent treatment. As such, any relationship where silent treatment manipulation is the norm suffers from poor communication, diminished intimacy, and deep-seated resentment. Usually, the silent treatment has been ingrained in an individual's personality as a way to cope with difficult emotions, according to the staff at eHarmony. Find the root of the problem . Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly. The more you facilitate your partner, the more your relationship will grow up. By giving in to it, you allow your partner to use it against you time and time again. You can use the ideas described in this article to help you get started on how to respond to the silent treatment. Remember, this is a tactic designed to manipulate. Research also corroborates this postulation. 12 Signs Of a Failing Marriage. Sometimes silent treatment is a good way of disengaging from an argument and giving your partner time to cool off. It makes you feel invisible, unworthy, and maybe a little bit sad or angry. But the reality is, as much as I wish it were true, human beings are not mind readers. Giving someone the silent treatment can be tough when it's someone you're typically close to, but you can successfully shut them out by being firm and adjusting your schedule. The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. But it will only set a toxic a ‘who blinks first’ game in motion. It’s a technique to offer constructive criticism without aggravating the other person or making them more emotionally distant than they already are. It’s hard to confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment because they might be sulking for days. If you’re looking for ways to respond to the silent treatment from a narcissist or a serial abuser, this is not it. Although someone giving you the silent treatment is not your fault, remember that if you have hurt them, or done something wrong, an apology from you would benefit your relationship a great deal. Life. Nothing but negative feelings arise from using the silent treatment. Be a part of Bonobology for free and get access to marvelous stories and information. Responding To A Narcissist’s Silent Treatment Turn the Game Around and Play it Better Have you ever found yourself being ignored by someone and you have no idea why? They also want you to chase after them and beg them to take you back. To one partner, the silent treatment is their way of dealing with an argument, but to the other, it’s a sign of shutting down. From experience, I know how challenging it is to deal with narcissists and their manipulative behaviour. Sometimes, going silent may … Don’t worry because you can learn how to respond to the silent treatment in no time. Silent treatment in marriage is not fair, but even married adults sometimes act like children. Remember there is no substitute for effective communication in a relationship. Consider professional therapy. Dealing with a potentially cheating partner can be quite challenging to deal with. Seek the help you need, work toward healing yourself. 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